On complaining, trying without permission, and the good old days
Issue #012
Hard pill #1: Complaining is a cheap replacement for fixing
Since our childhood, we are trained to choose the no-effort & low-risk path when we face problems.
That is complaining.
Most of us just toss the blame upon someone else and move on.
Of course, not all problems are personal mistakes. But that doesn’t mean you can’t fix them.
When you suck at creativity, don’t just blame the school system and choose to keep sucking. Instead, do your art in spare time which you spend scrolling reels.
This same logic applies when someone tells you their problems.
Instead of pointing out their mistakes, help them to solve. Don’t confuse advising with complaining. They don’t need your opinion, they need your help.
Never forget this: Complaining is drama. Solving is growth. And choosing the former is a pretty bad deal.
So, shut your mouth, and go fix the problems.
Hard pill #2: Most of the time, you don’t need any permission to try something new
When I was 13, in 2018, I was passionate about creating a drawing YouTube channel. But before taking the first step, I asked my dad for his opinion.
He said no. And convinced me with the dark side of YouTube. I didn't even know if he was right.
What I do know is: I lost an opportunity to learn content creation long ago. My whole passion went to dust.
No, no. Not a toxic dad. He just didn't want me to face troubles or get distracted from my academics.
Fast forward to 2024, when I was 18, I started publishing newsletters, started writing ebooks, applied for an internship, cold-emailed abroad creators to hire me as thier content designer… All without asking permission.
My dad still don't know many of my decisions.
No, no. I’m not an arrogant son. I just took responsibility for my life. Not to disobey, but to make him proud.
Most of the time, the decisions you wanna make is not that big to ask for permission. JUST DO IT!
Instead of announcing what you are planning to do, announce what you have achieved.But what if you failed?
Learn the lessons and just hide them!
Why should you publicise your failures if they didn't even know you tried?
Hard pill #3: The problems you have right now will someday be problems you'd gladly trade back for
On good old days by Justin Welch:
We're always convinced the grass was greener. Or will be greener. Never noticing that it’s pretty green right here, right now. The problems you have right now will someday be problems you'd gladly trade back for. Your present circumstances, however imperfect they might be, have a lot of elements that “future you” will desperately miss. So, what if you treated today like the good old days?
With tough love,
Abzulez